Marvie's Crochet Corner

Too damn fat

That's me. I bought this gorgeous yarn last Saturday, thought I'd make a shrug to wear to the craft fair right? HAH. I look like a COW in a shrug. I can't make the damn thing bigger either because I barely had enough yarn to finish it as it is. I'm depressed now lol. I dunno what to make out of this yarn. I don't want to finish the shrug and sell it, I bought this yarn because it's *my* color. I want to wear it dammit. So what does a fat chick make out of 300 grams of yarn? Goddess knows I don't need another hat/scarf set, and I couldn't wear that during the fair anyway (it's indoors) If I can't do a shrug, I certainly can't do a short poncho/cape type thing either. Damn damn damn. I hate this. I've managed to occasionally forget how freakin fat I've become, simply because not one mirror in our house showes me below the chest, so I never see my wide ass or gawd forbid a rear view (or any view) of my entire body. But today, I took the one mirror that we own that when propped on the dresser will show me what I look like in clothes and tried on the cute shrug and nearly cried. Damn damn damn.

*sigh*

So not only am I bloated and stuff, but now I've gone and seen what a cow I've become. Maybe I just need to crochet myself a flippin' mu-mu.......... oh wait, I don't have enough yarn for that lol.

Well, it won't help before the craft fair, but here is my plan. I slacked off the exercise thing lately, blaming it on the craft fair and not seeing any results when I was doing it anyway.... but, I just can't take this any freakin' more. SO. Since the exercise equipment is in the basement near the washers I have come up with an ingenious plan. I will take a load of laundry down each day, throw it in the machine and go use the treadmill or bike for the 25 minutes until it needs to go in the dryer. If I do it every freakin' day for a half hour, eventually I'm bound to see some change right??? Please tell me I will lol. I'll do this in the morning instead of spending that time reading blogs and crap, make myself a rule of no computer OR crochet till I have exercised. Then we'll start our school day as usual. I will ignore the pain, I have back pain anyway no matter what I do or don't do so I'm just going to have to suck it up and do it. The doc gave me meds that actually help a little (just need to go back for a refill) so there's no real excuse not to work out. I have to do this, I can not accept being this big.

Seriously, I haven't been this big since I was preggers.... I was a size three just 19 months ago people, and now I'm wearing a size 13. This is not good. Granted, size 3 is not my usual size, normally I am between a 5 and a 7 with occasional jumps to 10. I was thrilled when I discovered I was that small. Unfortunately it didn't last. I dunno how it even happened. I hadn't dieted or gone into workout hell or anything, I just dropped the weight over a few months. Then we got here and I gained it all back and then some.

*sigh*

Oh, and today is my blog's one year birthday lol. Happy birthday blog!

I'm gonna go pattern hunting now, I have to find *something* I can crochet to wear at the damn fair. I have two choices of yarn, the 300 gr. of green shrug yarn or I have 6 balls of cocoa LB Imagine. One way or the other I'll have something to wear that day dammit lol.

Hope ya'll have a good weekend!

posted by Marvie at 7:10 AM